matter of control

i have so much to share with you but i only remember them when you are not around me

when you are beside me, my mind so busy absorbing the essence of our precious moments, i forget all those details i need to share about you.

i also want so much to hold you, at least to touch your fingers, to connect with you on another level in a subtle way, but as usual im coward as shit.

i mean, you are a dream come true for me, you gotta know this.

cos you always think so lowly of yourself but you put so much impact on others you are not aware of.

i guess you didnt see this coming from me too and i cant explain myself this time.

it is scary to think that i have dreamt of you and wished for you to be close to me once again for my late life now and it came true, so true in the flesh, its mindblowing to me.

cos in the past you are only fren status and its impossible to share intimate tots about you to you cos it sounds so insane.

and so i have been keeping those tots to myself.

but now you are here. You Are Here. Are You Real?

i am so infatuated with you i hope i really can control myself.

i want us to go a long long way. 

i want to fill in your gaps.

i want to see your smile.

i long to have a touch of you.

i will continue to dream on....