the beginning of cold turkey

today begins the period i wont be able to see you in person.

your weekend will be busy, as how your life used to be.

i have mentioned to you i will be selfish this time, but i will still have to give you the space you always have had.

im aware im here to fill in your gaps and i am glad im the chosen one.

you have a good social life now yet you still look me up.

i have all the time to waste so i can try to fit into your gaps.

please dont hate me when i mention our pasts.

i was traumatised by you so much i moulded into who i am now.

but im glad i still have memories of us to occupy me when i was lonely.

when i was lonely i didnt dare to approach you cos you were so occupied. 

i guess i blocked you cos i dont wish to get hurt then.

but that action made me so so lonely, unwanted and unnoticed and redundant.

seriously i didnt know how i survived thru this depression.

fastforward to now i wanna take it slow and savour you all that i have missed in the past.

you have become so much more attractive and also donned a better personality.

i am so glad im finally close to the best version of you.