Why i was gone

I was holding on to you too closely

And my mind run wild

I was tempted and I made plans

But it seem I am doing it for myself

Then I suddenly felt down 

What if it was all one-sided

What if you just can't make the time

What if you are just being nice and unable to say No

Im addicted to the tracking app and im always on it

When I dun receive your words I feel insecure

Im so sucked into you I dunno how to handle it well

I checked and I clicked and then I decided to delete it

Will you even know will you even check cos you are so busy

I wanna call you just to hear your voice but im not sure if you were looking forward to my clinginess

I wanna cling onto you but I dun want you to get tired of me

I made myself a glass of whiskey instead of dinner

I just want all these feelings to drown out quick

It seemed so unsync-ed

I went to bed early to make my lonely nite shorter

I only want you and I need you but I am afraid you will drift away with my every yearn and clinging 

I didnt have a good rest and here I am

I read your posts and how I wish im close to you

To give you a tight hug and tell you I still love you deeply but I just dunno how to live without your attention.